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高山上的呼喊-go tell it on the mountain-第23部分

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  ‘Amen; bless the Lord!’ cried Praying Mother Washington。
  ‘What book was it; Richard?’
  ‘Oh; I don’t remember。 Just a book。’
  ‘You smiled。’
  ‘You was mighty pretty。’
  She took her sodden handkerchief out of her bag; and dried her eyes; and dried her eyesagain; looking down the avenue。
  ‘Yes;’ said Sister Price; gently; ‘you just thank the Lord。 You just let the tears fall。 I knowyour heart is full this morning。’
  ‘The Lord’s done give you;’ said Praying Mother Washington; ‘a mighty blessing—andwhat the Lord gives; can’t no man take away。’
   ‘I open;’ said Sister McCandless; ‘and no man can shut。 I shut; and no man can open。’
  ‘Amen;’ said Sister Price。 ‘Amen。’
  ‘Well; I reckon;’ Florence said; ‘your soul is praising God this morning。’
  He looked straight ahead; saying nothing; holding his body more rigid than an arrow‘You always been saying;’ Florence said; ‘how the Lord would answer your prayer。’ Andshe looked sideways at him; with a little smile。
  ‘He going to learn;’ he said at last; ‘that it ain’t all in the singing and the shouting—the wayof holiness is a hard way。 He got the steep side of the mountain to climb。’
  ‘But he got you there;’ she said; ‘ain’t he to help him when he stumbles; and to be a goodexample?’
  ‘I’m going to see to it;’ he said; ‘that he walks right before the Lord。 The Lord’s done puthis soul in my charge—and I ain’t going to have that boy’s blood on my hands。’
  ‘No;’ she said; mildly; ‘I reckon you don’t want that。’
  Then they heard the siren; and the headlong; warning bell。 She watched his face as helooked outward at the silent avenue and at the ambulance that raced to carry someone to healing;or to death。
  ‘Yes;’ she said; ‘that wagon’s ing; ain’t; one day for everybody?’
  ‘I pray;’ he said; ‘it finds you ready; sister。’
  ‘Is it going to find you ready?’ she asked。
  ‘I know my name is written in the Book of Life;’ he said。 ‘I know I’m going to look on mySavior’s face in glory。’
  ‘Yes;’ she said; slowly; ‘we’s all going to be together there。 Mama; and you; and me; andDeborah—and what was the name of that little girl who died not long after I left home?’
  ‘What little girl who died?’ he asked。 ‘A lot of folks died after you left home—you leftyour mother on her dying bed。’
  ‘This girl was a mother; too;’ she said。 ‘Look like she went north all by herself; and had herbaby; and died—weren’t nobody to help her。 Deborah wrote me about it。 Sure; you ain’t forgottenthat girl’s name; Gabriel!’
  Then his step faltered—seemed; for a moment; to drag。 And he looked at her。 She smiled;and lightly touched his arm。
  ‘You ain’t forgotten her name;’ she said。 ‘You can’t tell me you done forgot her name。 Isyou going to look on her face; too? Is her name written in the Book of Life?’
  In utter silence they walked together; her hand still under his trembling arm。
   ‘Deborah didn’t never write;’ she at last pursued; ‘about what happened to the baby。 Didyou ever see him? You going to meet him in Heaven; too?’
  ‘The Word tell us;’ he said; ‘to let the dead bury the dead。 Why you want to go rummagingaround back there; digging up things what’s all forgotten now? The Lord; He knows my life—Hedone forgive me a long time ago。’
  ‘Look like;’ she said; ‘you think the Lord’s a man like you; you think you can fool Himlike you fool men; and you think He forgets; like men。 But God don’t forget nothing; Gabriel—ifyour name’s down there in the Book; like you say; it’s got all what you done right down there withit。 And you going to answer for it; too。’
  ‘I done answered;’ he said; ‘already before my God。 I ain’t got to answer now; in front ofyou。’
  She opened her handbag; and took out the letter。
  ‘I been carrying this letter now;’ she said; ‘for more than thirty years。 And I beenwondering all that time if I’d ever talk to you about it。’
  And she looked at him。 He was looking; unwillingly; at the letter; which she held tightly inone hand。 It was old; and dirty; and brown; and torn; he recognized Deborah’s uncertain; tremblinghand; and he could see her again in the cabin; bending over the table; laboriously trusting to paperthe bitterness she had not spoken。 It had lived in her silence; then; all those years? He could notbelieve it。 She had been praying for him as she died—she had sworn to meet him in glory。 Andyet; this letter; her witness; spoke; breaking her long silence; now that she was beyond his reach forever。
  ‘Yes;’ said Florence; watching his face; ‘you didn’t give her no bed of roses to sleep on; didyou?—poor; simple; ugly; black girl。 And you didn’t treat that other one no better。 Who is youmet; Gabriel; all your holy life long; you ain’t made to drink a cup of sorrow? And you doing itstill—you going to be doing it till the Lord puts you in you grave。’
  ‘God’s way;’ he said; and his speech was thick; his face was slick with sweat; ‘ain’t man’sway。 I been doing the will of the Lord; and can’t nobody sit in judgment on me but the Lord。 TheLord called me out; He chose me; and I been running with Him ever since I made a start。 You can’tkeep your eyes on all this foolishness here below; all this wickedness here below—you got to liftup your eyes to the hills and run from the destruction falling on the earth; you got to put your handin Jesus’ hand; and go where He says go。’
  ‘And if you been but a stumbling…stone here below?’ she said。 ‘If you done caused soulsright and left to stumble and fall; and lose their happiness; and lose their souls? What then;prophet? What then; the Lord’s anointed? Ain’t no reckoning going to be called of you? What yougoing to say when the wagon es?’
  He lifted up his head; and she saw tears mingled with his sweat。 ‘The Lord;’ he said; ‘Hesees the heart—He sees the heart。’
  ‘Yes;’ she said; ‘but I done read the Bible; too; and it tells me you going to know the treeby its fruit。 What fruit I seen from you if it ain’t been just sin and sorrow and shame?’
   ‘You be careful;’ he said; ‘how you talk to the Lord’s anointed。 ’Cause my life ain’t in thatletter—you don’t know my life。’
  ‘Where is your life; Gabriel?’ she asked; after a despairing pause。 ‘Where is it? Ain’t it alldone gone for nothing? Where’s your branches? Where’s your fruit?’
  He said nothing; insistently; she tapped the letter with her thumbnail。 They wereapproaching the corner where she must leave him; turning westward to take her undergroundhome。 In the light that filled the streets; the light that the sun was now beginning to corrupt withfire; she watched John and Elisha just before them; John’ listening head bent; Elisha’s arm abouthis shoulder。
  ‘I got a son;’ he said at last; ‘and the Lord’s going to rise him up。 I know—the Lord haspromised—His word is true。’
  And then she laughed。 ‘That son;’ she said; ‘that Roy。 You going to weep for many aeternity before you see him crying in front of the altar like Johnny was crying to…night。’
  ‘God sees the heart;’ he repeated; ‘He sees the heart。’
  ‘Well; He ought to see it;’ she cried; ‘He made it! But don’t nobody else se it; not evenyour own self! Let God see it—He sees it all right; and He don’t say nothing。’
  ‘He speaks;’ he said; ‘He speaks。 All you got to do is listen。’
  ‘I been listening many a night…time long;’ said Florence; then; ‘and He ain’t never spoke tome。’
  ‘He ain’t never spoke;’ said Gabriel; ‘because you ain’t never wanted to hear。 You justwanted Him to tell you your way was right。 And that ain’t no way to wait on God。’
  ‘Then tell me;’ Said Florence; ‘what He done said to you—that you didn’t want to hear?’
  And there was silence again。 Now they both watched John and Elisha。
  ‘I going to tell you something; Gabriel;’ she said。 ‘I know you thinking at the bottom ofyour heart that if you make her; her and her bastard boy; pay enough for her sin; your son won’thave to pay for yours。 But I ain’t going to let you do that。 You done made enough folks pay
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